Make Your Own Waves

Katie & Miss Kitty circa 2010

My good friend Katie from House of Humble and I created this list together via email when we were both in jobs that were demotivating to our creativity and we knew we had to hang in there for a while longer. We started with a list of five things each to cheer the other up and well, as you can see, we got a little over excited with the concept.

It is important to be thankful for things around you and sometimes when life is too much too handle, smiling at the little things in life can be the best pick me up of all.

1.        Having a pair of jeans that is just the PERFECT fit for you.
2.        Holidays where you don’t have to pay for anything – like my trip to Melbourne…or when you get to stay with family
3.        Alternatively…sleeping in the crisp clean sheets  and comfort of a gigantic hotel bed.
4.        Bubble baths
5.        Meditating to a CD and actually feeling refreshed afterwards
6.        Going for a walk/jog /run around the block at night in winter and feeling the chill of air on your cheeks and then the sense of accomplishment and endorphins when you get back home.
7.        Long warm showers in winter
8.        Surviving thrashing waves at the beach!
9.        Wearing matching underwear and feeling so sexy even though nobody else knows
10.        That first time you wear your brand new heels out and everybody loves them
11.        Doing your lips up sparkly and glossy
12.        Glitter eyeshadow, nailpolish…hell glitter anything!
13.       Playing board games
14.       Eating fruit picked fresh from a tree in the garden
15.       Big old fashioned dolls houses
16.       Crocheted blankets
17.       Polaroid photos
18.       Op shop bargains
19.       Good hair days
20.       Antique jewellery
21.       Frilly underwear
22.       New pajamas
23.       Pancakes for breakfast
24.       Easter egg hunts
25.       Snow globes
26.        Watching movies under a quilt on the lounge in winter
27.        Butterfly kisses
28.        Eskimo kisses
29.        A big long stretch in the morning before you have even got out of bed!
30.        Jumping on a trampoline, or skipping, or hula hooping or doing anything  that seems to be a childhood activity but is super rad to do as an adult!
31.        Discos and sing-a-longs in your living room with the hair brush.
32.      The way all dance movies make you want to just get up and dance
33.        Unicorns
34.        Watching marathons of your fave TV shows or movies…because one movie or episode is never enough
35.        My Brownies!
36.        The little stepping thing cats do before they curl up to sleep cosily in your lap, on your back, chest next to you!
37.        The Original B&W photo booth print strips
38.        Road trips and sleepovers with your best friends
39.        Waking up deliriously happy still instead of hung over after a big night
40.        Dress Up parties!
41.       Making cookies and eating half the dough raw
42.       Finger painting
43.       Shooting stars and rainbows
44.       Sitting on the grass, making daisy chains and finding 4 leaf clovers
45.       The latest issue of your favourite magazine
46.       Finding a $2 coin
47.       Giant, swirly rainbow lollipops
48.       Treehouses or cubby houses
49.       The nice clean feeling just after you’ve brushed your teeth
50.       Crawling into bed when you’ve just changed the sheets
51.       Checking your bank account and finding there is more in there than you expected
52.       Playing dress ups
53.       Kittens
54.        Insider jokes with your best friends.
55.        Nickname wars…where you and a friend each try to up the other on awesome nicknames.
56.        Making fart sounds just because you can.
57.        Freshly cut hair when the hairdresser has styled it into the perfect look and for just one day your hair looks…perfect!
58.        When a stranger gives you a sincere compliment when you are having a bad day
59.        The sound  of a clinking typewriter as you tippity tappity type away.
60.        New Stationary. Enough said.
61.        That sense of accomplishment after you finally get a certain move, pronunciation, that certain something down pat and exact.
62.        Managing to bludge for an entire afternoon at work without anyone realizing you aren’t actually working!
63.       Waking up early on a cold wet day, where you just want to stay in bed, then realising its a Saturday so you can.
64.       Clean towels, fresh out of the dryer, all warm and yummy.
65.       Dressing up and buying expensive cocktails for no particular reason at all
66.       Laughing with a girl friend so hard you fall over/ think you might actually wet your pants
67.       Fairy floss and fire works at the Easter Show
68.       Hand written mail
69.       Unexpected text message from long lost friends
70.       Christmas dinner with family
71.       Finding the shoes you’ve been coveting for weeks on sale
72.       New nail polish
73.       Vases full of fresh flowers
74.       Hugs from my Nanna
75.       Reruns of 90′s sitcoms
76.        That moment when your sad, like really sad and something all of a sudden makes you giggle, smile slyly and then if its really good you will laugh out loud and realize that everything is going to be okay!
77.        Watching an old movie from when you were a kid and realizing one of your fave characters is actually a younger version of an actor you now know and love.

It seems that every Tom, Dick and Henrietta have a book, a novel, a synopsis, limerick or script lurking deep down inside their very soul. What I have come to realise is that if everyone in the world has got a piece of writing inside than do you really want to go with the flow, become a sheep and write, write, write just like all of them? Does this scare you? Is there a widespread fear of words tying knots and twisting knives in your belly?

If I correctly heard the answer yes peep out quietly from your mouth than what better way to get cure your fear – avoid writing! Here are six perfect ways to start now: 

1. Do the washing up, in fact why stop there clean the kitchen the bathroom, dust that bookshelf you haven’t done in months, vacuum the floor and organise a council pick-up for all that rubbish you are finally clearing out of the spare room. 
2. Go to the gym for an hour or more, even if you only sit on the bike pedalling slower then a snail and check out the talent. You might not be writing but hey your body’s going to look good!
3. Take the dog for a walk, or for lack of a dog take the cat or the rabbit or even let your pet frog jump around the house and spend hours trying to find where it’s landed. Best way to avoid is to commit to these mindless activities.
4. Read a book. All the experts will tell you that the best way to learn how to write is to read a lot. So do what they say and read a lot, read so much that you never have time to write even if you learn how. Even better watch movies that are based on books, I mean if you are going to do something – even avoidance – you might as well do it well!
5. Surf the net for motivation to write. Read other authors rants about not writing and why they don’t write all the time reminding yourself that hey – you are not writing a thing baby!
6. Last of all hide all the pens in the house, also all the blank paper, moleskins notebooks, notepads, index cards, don’t have a shortcut to word or any of your stories on the desktop of the computer, let the printer run out of ink, play angry music so loud your ears bleed and you can no longer concentrate. Set up an atmosphere around your desk that will not only help you to not write but maybe even turn you off it for good – because that is the very reason you are avoiding writing – isn’t it?

“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did, and when God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Always remember that the will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.”

This quote was written as the signature at the bottom of a chain email I was sent. I usually delete these immediately but I read this one through to the end. Although I ignored the email itself for the most part, I was drawn to this quote in tiny, grey, size 7 font at the bottom.

When things change in a way you think is unfair, perhaps it is only the universe letting you know that something better is coming.

Stay positive in times of trial.

Everything is always going to be okay. And that’s a truth if I ever knew one.

Dora Maar - Picasso

 The paintings, finished or not, are the pages from my diary

 Pablo Picasso has long been known as one of the founders of cubism by the way he created an entirely new type of reality in his paintings. However it has also been debated that he was a follower not a leader when it came to his paintings and that he was merely good at taking what other people had done and making it something the public wanted to buy.

 The abstract design, lack of perspective and bright colours of his cubism work have always been fascinating to me and so I took the opportunity to attend the exhibition – fresh from Paris – at the Art Gallery of NSW in Sydney.

 The exhibition was not a focus on his surrealism or cubism work but almost a story of his development through history. With humble beginnings of experimental drawings followed cubist works and mixed media installations you got a sense of an artist who was still trying to find his niche. An unfinished portrait of his first wife captured what ended as an unhappy marriage which was placed in interesting contrast next to an unfinished portrait of his first son that captured the full innocence of a child.

 Finally in the next room we step into the world of surrealism which Picasso is best known for. The bright colours of many of these paintings distinctly correlated to the happiness Picasso is said to of had with his then 17 year old mistress. He even went as far as to disguising her body parts in various paintings. The portrait of her is by far the happiest and neatest in the exhibition, almost as if he had taken time to be happily delicate where she was concerned.

 While the paintings and sculptures in this part of the exhibition were fabulous, it did seem like there wasn’t enough of this work. In terms of history soon after this era in his work came the World War II where Picasso was deeply influenced by what was going on and the bright happy colours of his work are replaced by dark tones and disturbing images and as you progress through to the final rooms of the exhibition in seems he never fully recovers the brightness of his art in the extremity it once was.

 When I was a child, I could draw like Raphael, but it it took me a lifetime to learn to draw like a child

One fantastic, innocent moment I witnessed during the exhibition was watching a mother take her 8yo daughter around the exhibition rooms. The daughter stopped at one surrealist picture of a woman lying down and pointed at the bellybutton and exclaimed “Look Mum, that lady has three boobs”. It was the cutest thing to hear and reminded me of the literal way that children view art. Adults tend to gaze at Picasso’s art trying to find what is real and logical and this kid looks at it for exactly what it is.

 For the most part the exhibition rooms were crowded and many paintings were unfinished, practice sketches from his notebooks or very depressing (post World War II) however it does give you a more thorough understanding of his life and the way he grew and developed as an artist. It is definitely worth attending if only to bask in the detail and skill of a very successful and important figure in art history.

Every decision we make has a consequence. As does every action causes a subsequent reaction. The ironic part of life is that inaction also has a consequence, a subsequent reaction.

If you sit back and do nothing change nothing than stagnation will inevitably occur. You will eventually grow unhelpful habits like the roots of a tree and the longer you stay in a state of stable inaction and the longer you decide not to make a decision to move forward or to change then those roots grow deeper and deeper. The longer you live like this, the harder it becomes to change and it becomes easier to slide into a life less ordinary.

Your life, your environment, your geographic location may change but you inside have the same inaction. The same innate ability to move on is pulling you back to the sidelines and not allowing you to learn from the lessons of your past and cut yourself free from the deep, dark roots of nothingness.

Inaction in life will often stem from fear. A fear of success can prevent change from occurring. For example if you are scared of success, it may be that you are scared that if one area in your life is a success then the rest of you will fall apart from the pressure that not everything can be perfect at one time. When one part of your life is a raging success such as you career or romantic life then there may no longer be a drive towards success in other areas because, you tell yourself, you are you to deserve success in every area of your life.

Who are you not to deserve everything you have always wanted to?

Who are you to not take control of your inner self and grab the reins of your fate in both hands proudly?

Who are you not to have faith that whatever it is you ask for from God, The Universe, Your Inner Self, that you will receive it?

Who are you to stay in a state of inaction and not shine your light brightly on the world?

So go now and act. Saw down this stagnant tree, poison the roots of inaction and act immediately. And don’t stop the action. You can’t keep saying things need to change either, you actually need to make a conscious decision and actually do something to change. You need to move. Don’t dare wait for something big to happen to make you change – because that won’t work or would have changed last time something big happened. You have to change because there is nothing left for it but to change/adapt/grow/develop/move.

For every action will cause a subsequent reaction and from there you can form the right kind of habits that will see your inner self catching up with the incredible changes going on in the present moment around you.

Too often in this fast paced world we take on too much at any given time and quite often this leads to you burning out big time and feeling like a failure when you are struggling to get through an average day.

I am all for working hard to get what you want and where you want to be whether you are an entrepreneur working for yourself or an intrapreneur working “for the man” as they say. However there does come a point where enough is enough and you need to take time out.

This happened to me end of last year. Around October 2011 I was starting to feel like it was all becoming too much. The weather was starting to warm up and work went from steady to all stations go-go-go!!! I had a permanent runny nose from October through till Christmas which is a sure fire sign that my immune system was low and I was pushing my limits. Work really picked up (I am a recruitment consultant for those who don’t know) and I was starting to lose the passion for it as all I kept asking myself was how long till Christmas?

I had planned twelve days of Holidays over Christmas and New Years which including Christmas with both my boyfriend’s family and my family on Christmas day followed by a drive to Melbourne on Boxing Day for a week holiday. My mantra for both November and December became “I can last till Christmas”.

While I was still managing to get my work done to high standards and was filling roles and meeting with both candidates and clients it was still double the effort to get it done as it normally would be. I was attending Christmas parties all over the place, catching up with friends, finishing Christmas shopping in every spare moment and barely making it to the gym or grocery store. I had pushed myself too far. By the time Christmas came around I had no inspiration left for anything and I was a wreck.

I got through Christmas okay but the second my boyfriend and I arrived in Melbourne after an eight hour drive and I stopped – my body stopped too.  I spent the first few days in Melbourne really sick. After a full day and two nights of good sleep and lots of vitamins and Sudafed I was finally somewhat okay. After another 8 days of holiday fun and down time I finally woke up feeling inspired and ready to go back to work. All I needed was some time out to relax and unwind and just stop.

According to many surveys conducted Australian’s are one of the hardest working nations with many working more hours than they are paid for and many more barely taking their allocated holidays each year. Many Australian’s are also fearful of taking holidays because of all the paperwork that will pile up in their absence.

These are the same people who push themselves too far and end up highly stressed and wound up and unable to relax when not going at full steam ahead. Signs include struggling to get through an average day, fatigue, short attention span, loss of patience and being easily cranky. To put it bluntly these people aren’t happy and aren’t much fun to be around.

After pushing myself too hard for what I believe to be more than a month too long, I realise that taking time out before you burn out is very important. I encourage everybody to do this. There is no need to go on unhappy, barely coping with your body showing signs of a low immune system. It isn’t healthy and it isn’t necessary. It does not make you weak; it does not make you a failure. It just makes you human.

So next time you feel like you are getting to the point where everything is a bit more effort than it should be – take a long weekend at the very least and leave the guilt behind.

As a full time recruitment consultant for a major recruitment agency I look at hundreds of CV’s every week and every time I come across a simple error I am surprised that people aren’t more careful with what they send through for potential jobs.

In a job market where the unemployment percentage is rising, I would think everyone would want to put their best foot forward so to speak by making their resume a stand out. Most roles attract upward of a hundred plus applicants so it is crucial to get your resume and application right as it is the first thing employers or recruitment consultants will see of you.

NO SPELLING ERRORS. EVER.

Your resume may state under personal skills that you have high attention to detail but that spelling error in the subject line or cover letter says differently. With the invention of spell check there is really no excuse for poor grammar or poor spelling so make sure you go over the entire application with a fine tooth comb. If spelling is not your strong point then get a friend who is to go over it.

DON’T APPLY FOR SOMETHING YOU AREN’T QUALIFIED FOR

If the role says you need to have a specific qualification or skill set and you don’t have it, quite simply don’t apply for it. You are wasting your time and the employer’s time. If you have completed a TAFE course but have no direct experience in the field than that also puts your application into the practically pointless box. For example a HR Graduate should not be applying for HR Managers roles.

NOBODY CARES THAT YOU STARRED IN THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL (OR THAT YOU GOT 15 MERIT AWARDS IN YEAR 7)

Some information is just irrelevant on resumes. When we are 16-18 years old and a school-leaver with no other work experience what-so-ever we are encouraged to put everything possible on the resume so it looks full and impressive. While this is fine at the time, some people forget to take it off when it becomes irrelevant. Un-clutter your resume and remove void information so as to make room for your applicable skills, experience and qualifications to shine through.

 REMOVE PICTURES AND PERSONAL DETAILS IMMEDIATELY

Self portraits are tacky, unnecessary and open people up for discrimination. Unless you are applying for promotions or modelling work where images are crucial then remove it from your resume right away. Also remove other personal details that do not directly relate to your work capabilities such as marital status, number of children, place of birth etc. I would even go as far as suggesting that you take your date of birth off as well. All these aspects can leave you open to the kind of discrimination that goes under the radar but it also tells the employer nothing about your work ability at all.

 A TITLE PAGE AND OTHER SUCH FLOURISHES ARE A WASTE

A title page on a resume is a wasted space and does nothing for your application; as are random coloured swirls and pointless images. It is best to keep it simple and straight to the point. You are not doing a high school project – this is your resume, one of the keys to your career.

I was inspired to write on this topic after reading this post by Adrienne Sandvos over at the LightHouse Women’s blog.

 “Instead of appreciating each other’s beauty, we need to feel like we are surpassing it in order to feel comfortable in our own skin.”

Adrienne makes such a strong point here at the way women’s thought processes quite often automatically goes into a negative gear even when we know nothing else about the other girl except the way she looks.

Sometimes I think we forget that we were all made differently and that if we really did look like our own (or societies own) unrealistic ideals we would all be clones and very, very boring clones to say the least.

To be honest I have been a culprit of being completely threatened by other girls many times. Mostly, these ladies are the most incredible people, especially once I took the time to get to know them.

Sometimes our competitive streak goes beyond beauty and we can get to thinking that other women are more talented or ambitious or intelligent as well as more beautiful than you. This is a dangerous thought path to go through. It highlights our own insecurities in ourselves and also may mean we miss out on the opportunity to befriend incredible and inspiring women.

My confessional story of this nature, I am ashamed to say is from within the last two years. My boyfriend’s sister is just over two years younger than me, is at uni doing the same course I did and is beautiful, funny and has an amazing personal style. Not to mention her incredible photography and editing skills.

It took me a long time to feel like I could call her friend as I always felt threatened by her, I think perhaps because we have so much in common that maybe deep down I somehow thought she would outshine me. It was nothing she ever did openly towards me but my own insecurities that drew the line in the sand as if we were in competition.

The craziest thing about my thought process is that she is the one person in the world that I shouldn’t ever need to compete with. She is my boyfriend’s sister for goodness sake (and potentially a future sister-in-law for me). Once I got this through my head we were able to become closer and I began to see the amazingly unique differences that made her inspiring to me and I let go of the competition I was having in my own head!

Women are amazingly beautiful and empathetic creatures and there is no need for us to be in competition with each other, whether it is because of beauty or skills or intelligence. There is no excuse for our sometimes catty actions other than personal insecurities. God made us all unique for a reason. The only way we should now act is to learn to love ourselves and admire and celebrate each other.

Let us stop putting each other down or holding friendships back. Let’s rise up together for we are women and therefore we are all winners.