Mar
26

Brisbane Blogcademy – come at me

Like it? Share it!
Pin It

I am a sassy blogger and recruiter on the South Coast of NSW and the only other country I have travelled to (so far) is Fiji. I dream of New York and decorate my house accordingly but this dream is sadly a few years off. I dream of being a blogger entrepreneur but am super happy with my current situation of blogger and intrapreneur. I am always looking to expand myself in new ways.

So when The Blogcademy class one in New York came and went I was disappointed I couldn’t just up and jump at this opportunity. Then Blogcademy jetsetted across the seas to London – again a location I couldn’t just up and jump to.

Then I got Gala Darling’s blog update via email!

Blogcademy was going global and that included two stops at Melbourne and Brisbane!

Although initially disappointed that Sydney got skipped along the way I took a look at both destinations and thought – hmmm I haven’t been to Qld in a few years…Done!

Therefore I am excited to announce the countdown has begun for Brisbane Blogcademy where I will not only meet some star bloggers that I have followed online for years and years (Gala since her Melbourne days!) but I will get to learn tips and tricks from the best.

November? That’s 8 months away I hear you say. Yes. Yes it is.

But what this means is that I have 8 months to make my blog more fantastic so that when it gets scrutinised by these blogger babes that I get higher levels of advice not just basic tips. It means that I have 8 months to plan a wardrobe for the two days that is fitting of the online queens of sparkle and shimmer. It means I have 8 months to get used to the idea that I get to meet my blogging role model for the first time in the flesh so that I can make sure I don’t get star struck and say something dumb (like the multiple times I have met Wil Anderson). It means I have something to look forward to. And to me this is the kind of event and weekend that will be worth the wait.

It wasn’t until last year that I wanted to blog a bit more seriously and a bit more frequently while still giving myself permission to have it go a few weeks without a post if life gets in the way.

This weekend will not be about idolising some of my favourite bloggers. I don’t idolise anyone but God. But getting to learn and grow in such a promising environment. Giving myself a chance to expand my knowledge in an area that is for personal growth only – not for work or anyone else – is pretty cool.

For any Brisbane or fellow Aussie bloggers I look forward to seeing you there. For Gala, Shauna and Kat thanks in advance for the opportunity…I am already channelling the power of turquoise and deciding between sparkly bow or bunny ears.

And to my readers may I inspire you to step outside your comfort zone and normal routine and take a class or book an event that is for purely personal growth. Do something that is for you and you alone and not for your career or family or anything else.

The best investment you can make is the one you make in yourself.

blogcademymanifesto1-682x1024

Like it? Share it!
Pin It
Mar
05

21 days without Facebook – what I learned

Like it? Share it!
Pin It

sunrise

Sometimes in life we have to take something away for us to realise it wasn’t good for us in the first place. This is true for me of Facebook.

My facebook fast went fantastic up until about day 19 when someone was trying to get in touch with me for an event organisation and they didn’t have my mobile number so I took a quick peek at their message.

What I learned is that where Facebook is concerned – absence does not make the heart grow fonder.

My relationships with my friends improved for a number of reasons. For once I was no longer annoyed at whiny things they posted on Facebook but more so because I was forced to call them, to text them which is in fact much more personal than hitting like on a status as if I cared about the post for more than the second it took me to read it and hit the thumbs up.

I don’t feel like I missed out on their lives as I was forced to connect, to tell them what was happening in my life. It is this personal connection that is too often lost when we solely rely on Facebook as a sorry excuse for a catch up in our time poor lives.

Even now that I am back on the Facebook bandwagon I find myself less inclined to like or comment on status’ and I am impatient with myself with scrolling my newsfeed when for the past 21 days I was forced to spend my time in more interesting ways. Those moments when you are waiting in line or at the Laundromat or killing a few minutes because you are at the coffee store on your own – these are times when I would normally Facebook newsfeed scroll desperate for something tantalising to come across my path. Since performing my Facebook fast I have written the beginning of a short story, sorted out finances, called friends and thought about positive affirmations and prayed to my God – all in the moments when I would normally have checked Facebook.

It has freed my mind and allowed me to open up my channels of creativity and imagination. Like a kid without toys I was able to use my imagination to entertain myself and by golly did I enjoy it.

This whole experience has changed my perspective on social media and made me check myself and my thoughts before purging them out into the world, I feel more for my friends and more connected with humanity. While I have no urge to delete my Facebook or twitter accounts at this point in time I feel that I only want to put beautiful things out into the world so my focus is going to stay with my website and with Instagram. While Instragram is essentially a social media outlet I believe photography is a more creative and beautiful outlet. Photography is a more pure medium to express myself in and compliments my whole mantra of make Your Own Waves.

So what I’ve learned is: I would rather phone a friend than hit a like button any day. While there are people who seem to like stuff I post most of them I don’t really know. Scrolling through a newsfeed that is selected by algorithms designed by IT people who don’t know is pointless and stupid and a waste of time. Instagram is better because it is beautiful. Relationships are better offline and away from the public eye. We expose ourselves to so much unnecessary garbage that can be overwhelming. I have an amazing and fascinating imagination that I don’t give enough time to.

Back in high school I worked part time at the local Westco – a jeans clothing store that was really big in the 90’s – and when there were no customers in the mornings and I got bored I didn’t have the option of signing into social media on my phone or really of texting anybody. Why? Because I was the last generation that managed to make it almost completely through high school before mobile phones became the new accessory. Where kids get a phone at 12 or younger, me and my friends didn’t get phones until 15 or 16 years of age. Even then we were limited to Nokia 3315’s which could only save a finite number of messages before the memory was full. The only game was snake and there was no such thing as apps.

These were simpler times and I used to write all kinds of crazy notes to myself on receipt paper at Westco as that was my only option. I realised I missed that part of myself and I am going to focus more on staying on Facebook and letting my imagination and relationships run free!

Like it? Share it!
Pin It
Feb
13

Facebook fasting February: part one

Like it? Share it!

Every February my church runs an initiative of 21 days of prayer and fasting to encourage us to get closer to God, put our worries on him because he cares for us and to focus on various aspects of our lives. You can read more about it here.

Last year I didn’t really take part in any serious way but this year I gave it serious thought and I decided that giving up Facebook for the 21 days was the answer. Food is a big focus in my life at the moment as is eating healthy so it didn’t seem that I needed to address this issue.

Facebook on the other hand – that was getting out of control. There are a number of things that bug me about Facebook, both my postings, my interactions with others and others postings.

I had already decided just after Christmas last year and right before new years that I would no longer post anything negative to Facebook ever, but this itself poses a problem. Does this mean I am been dishonest when I am continually posting happy thoughts, quotes, musings even when I am feeling blue? But on the other hand those people who continually vent about their issues in a whiny indirect manner are just pushing their negative vibes onto anyone who has them come up in their news feed. Do I really care that you hate that bitch that you are going to say everything about but never name…no, no I don’t care so why am I wasting my time scrolling through my newsfeed reading about it?

Another issue I have is about babies. Now I love babies. I love that so many people have had such blessings come into our lives. What I do not love is watching my friends profile pictures go from selfies to pre-schoolers. To put it another way…It would be weird if my mum was on Facebook and had a picture of me right now at 25 as her profile pic. Therefore in my eyes it is just as weird for a mum to have her profile pic as her one year old. I find it really weird and no, I will not change my mind once I pop out a few puppies – I am beautiful and a baby won’t change the fact I love myself and a good selfie.

Further to the baby issue is all the useless status updates people post about their babies stages of life that really have no impact in the way I live my life so why should I waste my time reading about it? That is right I shouldn’t – but I have been.

Next issue I have with Facebook is about mindset, jealousy and friendship.

Sometimes without realising it you can read things about other people you used to know, don’t care to know anymore or who you know now that cause you to question your own existence. If you are a particularly sensitive on a day when you read that a bunch of people you know had a party that you weren’t invited to when you think that you were better friends with them than that it can bring you down. You don’t mean for it to – but it does happen.

What about when your ex boyfriend has commented on another girls page? Or your best friend seems to have other friends she sees more of? If you are particularly sensitive one day you may read into things that can bring you down and make you feel left out or alone. And this sucks and is one of the many reasons I am fasting Facebook. What I don’t know can’t affect me especially if it is something I don’t need to know or wouldn’t know in “real life” outside of the world of Facebook.

Look out for Facebook fasting February part two coming soon which is all about keeping in touch with real friends in real ways.

Like it? Share it!
Nov
20

UFO satisfaction: or happy wedding present Emily and Paul

Like it? Share it!
Pin It

The UFO in all its former glory circa 2007

UFO. It is a term used my many a crafter and stands for un-finished obects, but you already know that don’t you? You looked around hesitantly then didn’t you…you know you have at least one, perhaps many hiding in various cupboards, boxes and rooms around your house. For crafty folk it can be anything from a bunch of patchwork squares yet to make it into quilt formation through to stitcheries and half completed scrapbooks.

I had my first UFO at the age of 7 – young I know. It was a cross-stitch of a fish in bright colours that I got for my birthday. I spent ages doing it till I got the hang of it and then I got bored. And off it went to my little sewing basket to be banished for the rest of my life. Yes sadly it remains uncompleted and at the bottom of my childhood toybox at my mums house.

As an adult I often set my sights high in terms of fun creative projects. Like the numerous pleated skirts I was determined to make for myself with super cool fabric I bought from Spotlight and cut out the patterns for. The only one I actually finished was my tie skirt and that was only because I was so excited to actually wear it!

My most impressive and ambitious UFO was, until recently, a vintage cabinet I got from a charity furniture store when I first moved out of home. It was one of those old fashioned dressers, you know the kind, with a mirror and drawers down the middle and a cupboard on each side. It was one of those purchases I made when I was still trying to figure out who I really was and what I really liked and at the time thought it would be totally fun to strip back the wood and revarnish – old meets new so to speak.

Well that was the plan.

In reality I used a combination of electric and hand sandpaper to sand back the entire piece. I then did a matt stain over most of it.

And then it sat in my room looking not so pretty.

And then it became a waste of time that I couldn’t throw away ebcause I had invested too much effort to it already. That was 2007.

Then it sat in storage for a few years in pices and completely unfinished but not necessarily unloved.

When I had to close out my storage a few months back it seemed that there was no where for this dresser to go…except my living room. Which, in a grannyflat is also my bedroom and dining and wardrobe and so there was no way this thing could stay.

I contemplated calling a charity furniture store but they wouldn’t take it unless it was put together. My boyfriends solution was to smash it up and leave it on the highway as he saw it for what it was – an unvarnished, untidy, pulled apart vintage piece of furniture – not its potential.

But I saw past the messy facade to what it could be in my imagination.One of the greatest things about renovating furniture (other than the satisfaction of completing the project) is imagining the possibilities and potential of the object. In my mind this dresser was dark and modern yet vintage and loved. Perfume bottl

es sitting on top of the glossy finish and lipstick motivation scrawled across the mirror. It had a place in someone’s home and was complete.

That same week a few months back my dear friend Emily put her hand up saying yes, yes, yes she had desperately looked for one of those dressers for a long time and never found one and she would take it off my hands. I took one look at this darling friend of mine and knew I could not give it to anyone in the condition it was in so I told her – let me finish it off and it will be yours.

Emily and her partner Paul are a young but strong couple who I have known for two years and they are two of the most kind, generous and wise couples I have ever met. They have strong foundations in Christ and are due to get married in February of 2013. My UFO became their engagement/wedding gift for them, the first real piece of furniture for them to add to their home.

In progress…check out Viddy for my video about this project

The project became a pleasure not a pain and I got so excited to finish staining the cabinet with a black gloss, add new brackets on the door and silver handles. I also lined the drawers with a fun spotted turquoise contact. Bit by bit the cabinet came together to become the proud piece of furniture I had envisioned it could be 5 years ago. I poured blessings over it as I completed it praying that it would bring love and peace into their home and their marriage.

The lesson learned from (finally) completing this project:

 

  • Never judge a book by its cover. Something may seem bleak but a positive outlook, a good imagination and some good old fashioned hard work can get you very far.
  • One man’s trash is another man’s treasure – so go on and recycle everthing. Donate used objects to charity shops because you don’t know where an objects story could start after you donate it!
  • One doesn’t need perfection to be beautiful. I believe it is all the imperfections in this old creation come new again that makes it a beautiful piece of furniture.
  • It is never too late. This project commenced in 2007 and yet it remained a UFO for 5 years before it was completed. I couldn’t be happier with the end result – a fusion of modern features with a vintage feel – and the recipient is over the moon with it! Hmmm, perhaps I should dig out that 18 year old cross stitch…

Emily and the finished dresser…how cute is the drawer lining? Almost as cute as Emily herself!

 

 

Voila! Nothing is more satisfying than a completed UFO!

Like it? Share it!
Pin It
Nov
08

Online dating: virtual nightclub or haven for true love

Like it? Share it!
Pin It

For those who haven’t tried it Online Dating is an interesting experience – for those that have tried it I am sure you will agree that it can be a little hit or miss. So is it possible to find true love amongst what appears to be a virtual nightclub of bad pick up lines and bad grammar?

A few years ago now I was very busy intensively researching the area of computer mediated communication which in laymen’s terms is basically the way people communicate via technology. This meant via mobile phone calls and text messages, emails, online chat, forums…you get the idea. My research came purely from a romantic heterosexual perspective and as a result of what I had researched the curiosity of my single self got the better of me and I jumped on multiple online dating sites to see firsthand what it was all about.

Having done a lot of research on the way people interacted in this environment, how they may not always present the full version of themselves (only the best version) and how emoticons and repeated terms were the online version of building rapport I felt I went in with a good shot at finding love if not some great new friends. What I wasn’t prepared for was the onslaught of guys that weren’t aware of what online dating was designed for and were just using it as a lazy way of picking up chicks. Then there were the numerous guys that made a play via messages and winks and whatnot who, although were good-on-paper, were mentally dealing with a tough break up and not ready to meet girls in the real world yet.

When I initially went into the online dating world I did a bit of digging to figure out where was best for my age group and also opted for the free online dating agencies because I don’t believe anyone should have to pay to find love. I ended up on Ok Cupid and Oasis Active and chances are a bit of stalker research could probably find my old profiles which haven’t been updated in more than two years.

Instantly, I felt overwhelmed with the amount of replies and winks and messages I was getting. What was even more overwhelming was how it felt like a virtual nightclub full of sleazy guys whose mothers had not taught them how to respect women. Who were these men to imagine there was even a slight possibility they could get a chance in my panties just by telling me how good looking they thought I was. My self-esteem certainly wasn’t and never has been that bad.

What did happen was that my overly-organised self developed a set of personal rules in regard to my interactions with online dating. When it came to instant messages of Oasis Active if you didn’t capture my attention after the initial “Hi, where are you from? What did you do?” then you were canned. If on Ok Cupid you only gave me a wink instead of an actual email then you were out. If that actual email was all about how good looking you thought I was or you tried to ask something a bit too personal up front like asking to read my novel draft I mentioned that I was writing then that was also a no. Oh and if you were stupid enough to have bad grammar or no pictures in an environment that was all about written and visual communication then you got a big hell no!

It turns out though that rules were made to be broken. I did go on a lot of interesting first dates and met a bunch of interesting people. I had dinners paid for; guys who had the hide to expect sex on a first date (not from this gal); guys who became good friends instead of great loves; oh and I built a fort in my dining room with sheets and blankets.

There was good and there was bad and there was bad disguised as good till I dug a little further. Then, lo and behold, I hit the jackpot after breaking one of my rules.

I received a wink from a guy whose picture had him and another on a Ferris wheel and I was curious so I clicked through. Turns out he had pictures uploaded but no profile filled out. Well lucky for me I was already annoyed at the world that day because I proceeded to send this guy a detailed email about how idiotic it was for him to be winking at girls in a virtual environment when there was no information for me to know anything about him – how could he expect to get anything worthwhile out of it?!?

His reply? A very long detailed email answering every question of OK Cupid’s profile form for my eyes only. Well suffice to say I liked what he had to say about himself and it was barely two days before we progressed to phone calls and organised a face to face meeting.

The good news? More than two years on we are still happily together with a strong relationship grounded in friendship and a propensity to honestly communicate with each other about everything. This is possibly due to our initial meeting in an environment where communication is integral.

It is possible to find true love online. The bad news is you do need to wade through a lot of bad first dates and sleazy online pick up lines in the virtual night club to find what you are on there looking for.

What experiences have you had with online dating both good and bad? Have you ever tried it and if so why?

Like it? Share it!
Pin It
Oct
12

Babies are not the be all and end all for women

Like it? Share it!

Ambition, relationships, fitness and other topics of conversation shouldn’t stop being important when women have babies.

Before you even begin reading further along in this article I should highlight that I have a career as a Recruitment Consultant and Writer and I am 25 with a boyfriend and no kids. I also have no plans to have kids till I am at least 30 and that’s only if there is a rock on my hand and a wedding album on the coffee table if you know what I mean.

However coming from suburban Western Sydney and now living on the South Coast of NSW I am surrounded by a society where marrying young and/or popping out babies is the normal thing to do. In fact sometimes this mothering majority can inadvertently make you feel weird/odd one out/rejected if you don’t have a ring on that left hand and a baby in a stroller or in fact don’t want those things and this is bad for the self esteem business! Having a baby seems to be the alternative to figuring out a career that you probably haven’t had time to become qualified for anyway.

The scary part is that for most – not all – these woman it seems that babies become the be all and end all in their life. Like the string tying them to the earth…their EVERYthing. While I can understand how having a baby is a moving experience and will change how you see things in the world and it’s something that to quote friends it “indescribable experience” and a “different kind of love” I 100% believe that it is dangerous to think that anything/anyone in this world should be your everything.

I can liken it to having a serious boyfriend in high school. When you’re a teenager it is very easy to obsess over a serious relationship and truly believe your life would be over if you ever lost this true love of your 16 year old life! But it isn’t true…you don’t die because they do, or simply because they broke up with you. You pick up shattered pieces and after a lot of moping and some bad decisions you finally open your heart to someone else again.

No-one can possibly be everything to you – and this includes best friends, your mother, your husband and yes – your baby. You were a person before you got pregnant; you were a person while pregnant and although habits are forced to change you are still your own person after you give birth. You are a separate person to your baby who cannot possibly ever be everything to you. One day they will grow up and become teenagers that get defensive when you are too involved or let loose if you don’t set boundaries because “mum, that’s so unfair”. While it would be great to assume that our kids will grow up and believe we are their best friends and they tell us everything – it doesn’t always happen and if it does that still doesn’t mean they are our everything.

One person in this world cannot possibly give you everything you need and it scares me when I hear mothers saying that their children are “their world”. Just like when you get into a love-of-your-life-relationship it is still super important to keep up individual hobbies, have time with your girlfriends and keep up fitness and health levels. I cannot stress enough that the same needs to go for when women have children.

You are still important…and if you don’t put yourself first you won’t end up been much use to anyone.

Make sure you give yourself time to build up your hobbies, return to a fulfilling career, keep up your health and fitness and give your husband/boyfriend/partner/babies daddy and your girlfriends outside of your kids. It will make you a better and more fulfilled person for it.

Recently having looked through the Forbes 100 most powerful women list for 2012 it is extremely apparent that the majority of these women have risen to their level of power in a variety of industries even while having kids. If these CEO’s, COO’s, Political powerhouses, and journalism leaders can bring up children while building careers their kids will one day be proud of them for than why is it so hard for anyone else?

I have seen plenty of examples of women get to their highest level of fitness after having children and even with more than three children to take care of. 

While being a mother seems to be a great choice in life it is certainly not the only choice given to women and it is also not healthy for it to be the only ‘everything’ in your world.

Like it? Share it!
Jan
23

Competition’s over girls: we all won

Like it? Share it!
Pin It

I was inspired to write on this topic after reading this post by Adrienne Sandvos over at the LightHouse Women’s blog.

 “Instead of appreciating each other’s beauty, we need to feel like we are surpassing it in order to feel comfortable in our own skin.”

Adrienne makes such a strong point here at the way women’s thought processes quite often automatically goes into a negative gear even when we know nothing else about the other girl except the way she looks.

Sometimes I think we forget that we were all made differently and that if we really did look like our own (or societies own) unrealistic ideals we would all be clones and very, very boring clones to say the least.

To be honest I have been a culprit of being completely threatened by other girls many times. Mostly, these ladies are the most incredible people, especially once I took the time to get to know them.

Sometimes our competitive streak goes beyond beauty and we can get to thinking that other women are more talented or ambitious or intelligent as well as more beautiful than you. This is a dangerous thought path to go through. It highlights our own insecurities in ourselves and also may mean we miss out on the opportunity to befriend incredible and inspiring women.

My confessional story of this nature, I am ashamed to say is from within the last two years. My boyfriend’s sister is just over two years younger than me, is at uni doing the same course I did and is beautiful, funny and has an amazing personal style. Not to mention her incredible photography and editing skills.

It took me a long time to feel like I could call her friend as I always felt threatened by her, I think perhaps because we have so much in common that maybe deep down I somehow thought she would outshine me. It was nothing she ever did openly towards me but my own insecurities that drew the line in the sand as if we were in competition.

The craziest thing about my thought process is that she is the one person in the world that I shouldn’t ever need to compete with. She is my boyfriend’s sister for goodness sake (and potentially a future sister-in-law for me). Once I got this through my head we were able to become closer and I began to see the amazingly unique differences that made her inspiring to me and I let go of the competition I was having in my own head!

Women are amazingly beautiful and empathetic creatures and there is no need for us to be in competition with each other, whether it is because of beauty or skills or intelligence. There is no excuse for our sometimes catty actions other than personal insecurities. God made us all unique for a reason. The only way we should now act is to learn to love ourselves and admire and celebrate each other.

Let us stop putting each other down or holding friendships back. Let’s rise up together for we are women and therefore we are all winners.

Like it? Share it!
Pin It