Mar
22

Another year older…time to get wiser

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I am one of those people that LOVE birthdays. In fact I love love LOVE birthdays! And no it is not just because I don’t have kids to get excited about their birthdays instead. I think everyone’s birthday should be celebrated as it is a commemoration of another year of awesome living on this earth. Another year of contributing to society and a reminder to keep being the most awesome version of yourself and giving life all you have. This life will end eventually so we must rejoice and celebrate within this world while we can – birthdays are no exception.

This birthday I am feeling young and accomplished and busy and happy. I haven’t celebrated in the normal BIG ways that I normally do but I feel this year that it is the smaller things that are contributing to the bigger celebration – that I am a year older, have spent another year doing awesome things and some not so awesome things and being in my mid-twenties I feel it is time to get a bit wiser.

There are always areas that we could be improving and as the saying goes:

 Standing still is the same as going backwards.

 So I greet my twenty-thirteen birthday with this in mind. If I am to be deemed wiser by my own merits then what areas of my life do I need to improve. I could list of ten fantastic accomplishments right now but this is more about working on areas of my personality or life that sometimes work against the greater good for me.

Now this isn’t a chance to criticise myself, but instead to know myself and nurture myself into being the best version of myself – and who could want more than that!

With this is mind here is a list of areas that I commit to working on over the coming year:

♥ My health and fitness – I have begun a serious journey this year to lose weight and I want to remain committed to this journey. Working out with my partner has helped this immensely!

♥ Stop being sarcastic when people ask me questions when I think the answer is extremely obvious.

♥ Make an effort with my wardrobe. Some days I am fantastic at this and entirely put together with matching accessories and all but then other times I am flustered and running late or tired and don’t care and end up in outfits that are just not quite right. I am making a stand against this don’t care-ish attitude and will always care what I wear so that I can be fashion forward not ensemble-challenged.

♥ Never be late to work. Ever. Powerful women are never late. And the fact I am now only five minutes from work as opposed to 45mins should make this a lot easier.

♥ Read my bible and connect with God – and do this with no distractions around. So much of my connection with God is while driving or when I am in the middle of thinking a million other thoughts. Some quiet time would be nice.

♥ Contribute to the greater good. Whether this be money, time or knowledge I want to contribute to the greater good of society in some way.

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Feb
13

Facebook fasting February: part one

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Every February my church runs an initiative of 21 days of prayer and fasting to encourage us to get closer to God, put our worries on him because he cares for us and to focus on various aspects of our lives. You can read more about it here.

Last year I didn’t really take part in any serious way but this year I gave it serious thought and I decided that giving up Facebook for the 21 days was the answer. Food is a big focus in my life at the moment as is eating healthy so it didn’t seem that I needed to address this issue.

Facebook on the other hand – that was getting out of control. There are a number of things that bug me about Facebook, both my postings, my interactions with others and others postings.

I had already decided just after Christmas last year and right before new years that I would no longer post anything negative to Facebook ever, but this itself poses a problem. Does this mean I am been dishonest when I am continually posting happy thoughts, quotes, musings even when I am feeling blue? But on the other hand those people who continually vent about their issues in a whiny indirect manner are just pushing their negative vibes onto anyone who has them come up in their news feed. Do I really care that you hate that bitch that you are going to say everything about but never name…no, no I don’t care so why am I wasting my time scrolling through my newsfeed reading about it?

Another issue I have is about babies. Now I love babies. I love that so many people have had such blessings come into our lives. What I do not love is watching my friends profile pictures go from selfies to pre-schoolers. To put it another way…It would be weird if my mum was on Facebook and had a picture of me right now at 25 as her profile pic. Therefore in my eyes it is just as weird for a mum to have her profile pic as her one year old. I find it really weird and no, I will not change my mind once I pop out a few puppies – I am beautiful and a baby won’t change the fact I love myself and a good selfie.

Further to the baby issue is all the useless status updates people post about their babies stages of life that really have no impact in the way I live my life so why should I waste my time reading about it? That is right I shouldn’t – but I have been.

Next issue I have with Facebook is about mindset, jealousy and friendship.

Sometimes without realising it you can read things about other people you used to know, don’t care to know anymore or who you know now that cause you to question your own existence. If you are a particularly sensitive on a day when you read that a bunch of people you know had a party that you weren’t invited to when you think that you were better friends with them than that it can bring you down. You don’t mean for it to – but it does happen.

What about when your ex boyfriend has commented on another girls page? Or your best friend seems to have other friends she sees more of? If you are particularly sensitive one day you may read into things that can bring you down and make you feel left out or alone. And this sucks and is one of the many reasons I am fasting Facebook. What I don’t know can’t affect me especially if it is something I don’t need to know or wouldn’t know in “real life” outside of the world of Facebook.

Look out for Facebook fasting February part two coming soon which is all about keeping in touch with real friends in real ways.

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Dec
26

BRB I’m on holidays

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strawberry santa

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I have been off work and trying to unwind by enjoying time with family and friends, so that is why things have been a little quiet around the MYOW front. Whether you believe in the true story behind Christmas about little baby Jesus who was sent to us from God so that our sins could be forgiven and so that we could be in a relationship with God…or not…it doesn’t matter. It is simply a great excuse to get together with friends and family and enjoy positive festivities, yummy food like roast pork, ham and pavlova (my mum makes her pavlova from scratch and it is divine)!

So whatever you are doing this holiday season make sure you are staying safe, catching up with everyone who matters to you and letting go all the hardships from the year that was twenty twelve. Clear the clutter and prepare yourself for a supersonic BOOM! for twenty thirteen.

I have loads planned for my everyday life, for my long term goals and for this blog – so stay tuned!! Things will be back into the full swing come the first week of January twenty thirteen.

Happy Holidays and God Bless!

reinbeer

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Nov
02

From Glum to Glad: Turning your mood around

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Sometimes I wake up feeling like I have stepped in steaming pile of dog doodoo. Sometimes we can feel as if we are the dog doodoo and someone has stepped on us. It makes me reluctant to get out of bed, too grumpy to be nice to anyone and even makes it hard to smile for more than a half-hearted second of amusement.

When this used to happen to me I used to just wallow in my own self-pity. I would stay mopey at work and without even realising it, be bitchy and irritable to my colleagues. You could tell by the way I carried myself, what I was wearing the angry way I drove my car with less patience for dealing with little issues. When I gave into this crappy feeling I would often stay unhappy for more than one day. Even worse is I would get home and eat a slight excess amount of crappy food which would make me feel worse.

BUT…

 The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. Scientific research into the way the brain works has shown that it is possible for us to turn the focus of our neural pathways into a more positive brainwave! If you focus on bad all the time you will strengthen the negative neural pathways. If you force yourself to smile, exercise for endorphins or just focus on more positive things you can actually redirect your brain to strengthen the positive neural pathways. Obviously the actual scientific research is a little more technical then this with more complicated, hard to pronounce words – but I have made it very simple.

Think and do positive and you will be positive. 

I have compiled a list of various activities that you can do to help go from glum to glad, and be happy instead of sad. It is all about making your own waves!

*Write a gratitude list and if you have to start with the basics like breathing and your existence and the power you have to change yourself * Pray * Read over affirmations – some of the best affirmations I have ever found are in Miranda Kerr’s book Treasure Yourself * Write a positive message to yourself in bright lipstick (not your favourite one of course) on your mirror * Smile * Practice laughing yoga in the car – it’s amazing how much a good-yet-fake chuckle can cheer your right up and you end up laughing for real * Sing your favourite up beat songs in the car on the way to work at the top of your lungs * Read the bible – this point is obviously not for everyone but for me and other Christians would agree that sitting down with the word of God is very soothing * Get your trainers on and exercise! Once those endorphin chemicals are pumping through your system you can’t help but be in a better mood – even if it is a struggle to get started * Call your best friend, or your mum or someone who you know will listen to you let off steam while simultaneously cheering you up * Watch your favourite movie/TV Show and see how many lines you can repeat word for word as it is playing out! * 

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Oct
31

It’s okay to make a decision and then change your mind

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When you make a decision and you feel so strongly that it is the right decision and you swear that you have considered every option as to why that decision is the best one, sometimes God can come along and blow down the house of carefully stacked cards you thought were glued together. It is then that we need to give ourselves permission to change our own minds.

Big, seemingly scary, life-changing decisions should never be made lightly. Whether it is about choosing the right degree, university/college, getting engaged, taking a new job or moving interstate/intercontinental these decisions can and will affect the rest or your life. Sometimes because these decisions are so huge it can be hard to change your mind once it has been agreed upon and announced to your social circle.

A few years back I was working at a number of niche craft publications (Homespun, Quilters Companion, Scrapbooking) and unfortunately although I loved working in magazines and the team and people I dealt with in the editorial role, I wasn’t happy. It was in no way challenging enough for my skill level at the time as I picked it up all too quickly and somehow you can only write about “delicious fabric” and describe stores as “Aladdin’s caves of treasures” before your creative mind gets bored. I was in need for a new opportunity and instead of waiting for one to present itself to me I decided to apply for retail management positions. I had worked for four years in retail before getting into magazines and was pretty savvy with selling and merchandising and thought it may be a stepping stone into more fashion-orientated magazine roles later down the track.

I got an interview with one of my most favourite shoe stores and a few days later I was told that I didn’t get the job I wanted but that they wanted me for one of their other stores!!! We had luck!!!

So here I was in my early twenties taking my career into my own hands. My eyes sparkled with shoe discounts and wardrobe ideas. I imagined the awesome team I would manage and how we would be the best store team in the history of shoe retail.

I had made the life changing decision. I had set the ball in motion. I was due to start in four weeks and had told the other editorial girl who worked on the same magazines as me. All I had to do was tell my boss and actually hand in my resignation letter.

Somewhat reluctantly I typed up the letter, swallowed the fear that had gathered in my throat and then hit send on the email (he worked in the building next to ours). That afternoon I stared at my email and the phone with fear waiting for the god awful reply accepting my resignation. It wasn’t so much that I was scared of what they would say to me but more that I knew I would have to explain my reasons for wanting to leave and being that honest was kind of frightening. I mean I had made my decision, explained it to my parents, and accepted the job offer. I should have been confident in my reasons. I was confident in my decision but it still had a big risk factor involved.

Then my boss called.

And requested a meeting at his office to discuss.

And then I preceded to have my early twenties mind slapped with career advice from a senior executive media publisher.

And yes I changed my mind.

In the end my mind was changed and I was offered another opportunity with the Home & Lifestyle magazines, which I stayed working with for almost two years before making my sea change to Kiama. The call I had to make back to the shoe store company was difficult but all in all they were pretty good about it.

The point is I made a decision that I was adamantly all for and then seemingly unmade the decision based on one conversation. This did not mean I was indecisive or unable to commit. When presented with my situation from a different perspective that I hadn’t considered I could see that I was possibly making the wrong choice. My circumstances still changed so that I got out of my unhappy rut but it was still in the area I had studied at university for, it was what came naturally to me and I had more room to move creatively.

When you make a decision it can take some guts to unmake it once you have told everyone what you have decided to do. Most importantly you need to trust that the decision is the best thing for you based on you and you alone. While there may be other things to consider – partners, kids, family, finance – but ultimately if it is right for you, you will know. Sometimes it can be the most irrational thing that makes us change our mind but it is better than continuing into a new job/move/partnership/etc. that you have come to believe isn’t quite right. Forget about what other people will think of you – that is none of your business anyway. Think only of what is best for you and the path you feel you should be on.

And remember life is never set in stone (yes even if you put it on Facebook) and there is always time to change something. If you do follow through with a decision you made and you are as unhappy as the naysayers said you would be – don’t feel you need to hang your head in shame on the way back undoing what you had done. Life is an adventure and designed to be explored.

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Oct
29

Random acts of kindness

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Over in this part of the web  everyone was going all a flutter for people paying it forward. #payitforward is all about performing a random act of kindness for a stranger without the need for gratitude and recognition.

There were stories of people helping a struggling mum pay for diapers at the supermarket, people at coffee and take away stores paying for the people in the line behind them and even helping a struggling student pay for petrol at the pump when they’re card was declining more than once.

What these little acts of kindness do is enhance the recipient’s life in a way that they would definitely not be expecting. You never know what that extra $5, $10 or even $20 shout could actually do for that person’s life at that particular point in time. It also sets in motion a chain reaction of kindness, generosity and happiness. Something so simple and so tiny could come at just the right moment in someone else’s life that it makes the world of difference.

My dear, generous, kind Christian friend Robyn’s story is a great example. She felt compelled to walk back through peak hour foot traffic and present a homeless busker with oh so much more than the piddly five and ten cents he had been getting. That money was nothing but pocket change to someone as blessed as Robyn but it was the world to the recipient who replied with a thank you and “God bless you sister”.

My own personal version of paying it forward is to randomly send my closest friend’s text messages at all hours honestly telling them how divinely beautiful and fantastic they are. I don’t always get to see them very often and I get so excited just thinking about them and our awesome times together and I am compelled to just let out how much they are loved, cared and adored. There hasn’t been a single time where my friends haven’t turned around and thanked me saying how much they were having a tough day and I brightened their world.

This week I would like to challenge you to a random act of kindness and reap the benefits of how good it makes you feel to make a difference to someone else’s existence, possibly when no one else is giving a damn about them.

So go on and #payitforward whether it be with money or kind words; whether it is to your friends, family or a complete stranger – make it unexpected and do it with intention. Even leaving a box of freshly baked donuts or cupcakes in the kitchen on a Monday morning can make all the difference to the vibe of an entire office!

Once you have conducted your random act of kindness, please come back here to Make Your Own Waves it share it. I ask you to come back and share it, not to brag, but to inspire. If you want the world to be a better place then we have to start small:

Be the change you wish to see in the world – Ghandi 

…into this!

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Oct
27

Making new friends in a new city

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When you move to a new city chances are you will know next to no one and you will be pushed out of your comfort zone to meet new people and make new networks. A new BFF doesn’t always form immediately but they may be closer than you think in your new world.

Two years ago I was unhappily living in the Western Sydney suburbs. I spent 5 days a week driving 2 hours each way in peak hour traffic to get to my job in magazines. While working in magazines is fantastic it is by no means glamorous and you don’t always get to choose what you write about – hard for us creative types! I yearned to escape.

Then I met Sam the love of my life and up, found a new career as a recruitment consultant and relocated to the sunny seaside town of Kiama. Living and working in the Illawarra and South Coast of NSW is possibly the best change I could ever have made to my life and although I initially made the transition for love – I know it was the right choice for me.

Despite having my partner and his family down here it became immediately obvious how isolated and cut off I was to all my friends. While social media is great to keep in touch it is nothing compared to the ability to say “Oi, I’m bored let’s go to dinner/drinks/insert-fun-friend-activity here”. I was no two hours away from all my closest and favourite friends. Trust me it doesn’t matter if you move two hours away or two time zones away – it is always hard to be away from your nearest and dearest.

When you move with or because of your partner you have two options: be all consumed with them and them alone and end up unhappy because they don’t live up to your expectations; OR you could use it as an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends to add to the great ones you already have back home.

Moving to the South Coast definitely gave me the opportunity to expand my friendship circles and as a result I have met numerous girls and guys I am proud to call my friends!! I am a pretty confident person for the most part but making new friends can be a little nerve-wracking but it is worth it.

As a result of my ability to make friends so easily I have constructed a list (we all know how much I love love love to make lists) to give you ideas on how to do the same in your new city – no matter what the post code.

  • Work: While it is not always good to get all consumed with workplace friendships and have no break between work and play, the workplace is a great place to meet new people. Chat to others in the lunch room, get to know the people sitting in the next cubicle/counter/etc. These people are working in the same industry as you so chances are you will find something in common with them. Also depending where you work you may meet new people just by doing your job. Make a point of organising catch ups with these people because even if it seems strange at first you will be happy you made the effort.
  • Church: If you are not religious then feel free to skip to the next point but first let me tell you that the people I have met through church are some of the most caring, compassionate and easiest-to-catch-for-coffee people that I know. I am lucky to be part of Lighthouse Church Wollongong & Shellharbour, a Pentecostal church that runs various Sunday services and encourages everyone to connect with the community and with each other at lifegroups. I am now in a lifegroup with five other incredible ladies and we catch up every fortnight without fail to talk honestly about our lives and our path with God.
  • Sport teams: Whether your sport of choice is pole dancing, hockey, soccer or netball make sure when you move town you sign up for the local team in the new area. For team sports or group activities like dancing you will no doubt make some great friends in your quest to conquer moves and win games.
  • Gym: while normally the gym is a singular activity you will inevitably bump into the same people over and over if you keep up a regular schedule. Remember that girl you always end up next to on the treadmill? Say hi to her next time you see her and ask what her fitness goals are. You may just find a great gym buddy to hold you accountable at the very least.
  • Hobby/learning groups: Whether you are into old cars, poetry, public speaking, singing or sewing – look up a group in your area and attend their very next meeting. Meeting up with people who have something in common with you can be the foundation for fantastic friendships. If you have signed up for a series of lessons on an area that interests you can also become a reason to bond with others. Take it one step further and organise dinners outside the group meetings to get to know others on another level.
  • Networks: If you have moved to be with a partner chances are they will already have a network of friends in the area that you can connect with. One of my closest friends on the coast is cool chick Miss Chloe who in actual fact grew up with my boyfriend and they had fallen out of touch for a few years. We hit it off and now we catch up more than they ever did.

Other networks include friends of friends, people you meet through your work (other than colleagues) and even just people you meet while out and about in the town.

I am lucky enough that my work involves recruiting for Office Support staff which quite often includes a demographic of young women in their 20’s. I have made some great friends this way and whenever I meet a girl who was in the same position as I was (just moved to the area and doesn’t really know anyone) I make sure to take them out to coffee or lunch and see if they just might be my next BFF.

So when you begin to meet these new people in all these different areas of your new world make sure you invite those you connect with strongly out for coffee’s and lunches; say yes when people invite you to parties or dinners and make sure you are open and friendly with everyone. Great friendships aren’t always born immediately so give it some time and take advantage of the opportunities God presents to you to meet someone new…you never know what you may discover.

So I want to hear from everyone – have you moved to a new city and had trouble making friends? How did you start to meet people to catch up with? How long did it take you to build up your networks again?

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Jul
04

My testimony…with God anything is possible.

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“Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26

 Well here I am making a public World Wide Web declaration that I am a Christian. I believe in God and that he sent his son Jesus to save us from our sins. I believe in eternal life in Heaven and practicing the goodness and kindness and humility taught to us in the scriptures.

I haven’t always been this way and I haven’t always been brave enough to shout it from the rooftops – or in this case shout it from my blog roll! In high school I attended a church youth group which was my saving grace in making it through in one piece however I never fully allowed myself to connect with god and felt infinite amounts of shame associated with my every natural teenage urges and actions.

After years struggling with my mental health and feeling like I was living with a giant hole in my life and letting sex become a way of validating myself I made a decision to find a man who loved me for me. After many interesting dates with immature boys I met Sam in July 2010. After a few months into the relationship I followed my heart and quit my career in magazines (which I wasn’t feeling passionate about anyway) and relocated to South Coast NSW. As I was in the process of relocating and interview for my(now current) job as a recruitment consultant, Sam got very ill with a blood clot in his liver.

It wasn’t a good way to end 2010 however, I pushed through slowly. I was struggling immensely with everything from dealing with Sam and how he was coping with his illness, having none of my friends in an immediate vicinity, getting to know a strange place with no family nearby, losing my independence and living with a new family, all while juggling the new pressures of meeting targets at my new role. Whew!

Sam had begun going with his mum to a church healing service on a Friday afternoon in Thirroul while I was at work and he got prayed for numerous times. In my introverted anger and frustrations at having no control over the current situation in my own life I gawked at how silly this was as a solution. Despite his depression and illness Sam saw hope and asked me to come to church with him.

After fighting and fighting against everything I thought I believed in, I woke up one Sunday morning in March 2011 and looked at my clock knowing we would have plenty of time to get up and get to church. So I laid my head back on the pillow and shut my eyes. Something was fighting against my urge to not wake Sam up and keep sleeping so we could miss church – again!  Losing the argument in my head I got up, woke Sam and we rushed to get ready for church and we were at the door ready to leave in record time.

As we were about to leave Sam’s parents informed us that daylight savings had just finished and we were ready an hour early!!!

That extra hour meant we could have a leisurely breakfast and still get there early. It also meant that even had I napped a little longer we still would have made it to church that morning on time – obviously it was all part of God’s plan.

 The sermon that morning was by Linda Pesavento and what she spoke about drilled deep into my core. She spoke about living a life without limits. It was about how the more we try to do things on our own the more we will struggle as we will get to a point where we can’t go any further….we can only do so much on our own. However, if we turned to God for strength anything was possible and that was when miracles happened.

That morning, my hand shot up involuntarily when they asked if anyone wanted information about knowing Jesus and living for him and step by step from that day I have turned to God during tough times, prayed with faith and become witness to many miracles including my boyfriend Sam been healed.

I encourage you to open up and let God into your life and see what it is like to have no limits to the things that you do. Without faith and prayer and positivity life can sometimes become impossible however as the bible said if we do life with God – everything is possible!

So this is my testimony and a year on I am still living a life with God at my core and although I am definitely not by any means close to a perfect Christian I am enjoying my journey. Have you had similar struggles and found healing in God? What is your testimony? I would love for you to share below.

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Feb
08

To get something you never had…

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“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did, and when God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Always remember that the will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.”

This quote was written as the signature at the bottom of a chain email I was sent. I usually delete these immediately but I read this one through to the end. Although I ignored the email itself for the most part, I was drawn to this quote in tiny, grey, size 7 font at the bottom.

When things change in a way you think is unfair, perhaps it is only the universe letting you know that something better is coming.

Stay positive in times of trial.

Everything is always going to be okay. And that’s a truth if I ever knew one.

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Feb
01

Why you should take action now

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Every decision we make has a consequence. As does every action causes a subsequent reaction. The ironic part of life is that inaction also has a consequence, a subsequent reaction.

If you sit back and do nothing change nothing than stagnation will inevitably occur. You will eventually grow unhelpful habits like the roots of a tree and the longer you stay in a state of stable inaction and the longer you decide not to make a decision to move forward or to change then those roots grow deeper and deeper. The longer you live like this, the harder it becomes to change and it becomes easier to slide into a life less ordinary.

Your life, your environment, your geographic location may change but you inside have the same inaction. The same innate ability to move on is pulling you back to the sidelines and not allowing you to learn from the lessons of your past and cut yourself free from the deep, dark roots of nothingness.

Inaction in life will often stem from fear. A fear of success can prevent change from occurring. For example if you are scared of success, it may be that you are scared that if one area in your life is a success then the rest of you will fall apart from the pressure that not everything can be perfect at one time. When one part of your life is a raging success such as you career or romantic life then there may no longer be a drive towards success in other areas because, you tell yourself, you are you to deserve success in every area of your life.

Who are you not to deserve everything you have always wanted to?

Who are you to not take control of your inner self and grab the reins of your fate in both hands proudly?

Who are you not to have faith that whatever it is you ask for from God, The Universe, Your Inner Self, that you will receive it?

Who are you to stay in a state of inaction and not shine your light brightly on the world?

So go now and act. Saw down this stagnant tree, poison the roots of inaction and act immediately. And don’t stop the action. You can’t keep saying things need to change either, you actually need to make a conscious decision and actually do something to change. You need to move. Don’t dare wait for something big to happen to make you change – because that won’t work or would have changed last time something big happened. You have to change because there is nothing left for it but to change/adapt/grow/develop/move.

For every action will cause a subsequent reaction and from there you can form the right kind of habits that will see your inner self catching up with the incredible changes going on in the present moment around you.

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